Autism. A six letter word that doesn't make a real impact on the majority of the human race. Autism, a word so misunderstood, so neglected, so JUDGED. Autism, a word that has the ability to DESTROY!
One can read as many articles, look at as many autism pages, and hear about as many autism campaigns possible. But, IF YOU HAVEN’T LIVED with it, haven’t walked in an autism parent’s shoes, then you HAVEN’T felt what that six letters is CAPABLE of.
Living with Autism comes with phases. At first you live in denial, you look past the developmental delay, you brush the behavior off as naughty, and you keep on dreaming! You hold onto the dream that this child in front of you will be the next this or that, that your child will SUCCEED in life!
Then comes the phase where you realise that your child’s little problem is actually a huge problem. And something has to be done. Still dreaming! Still hoping for some miracle pill or therapy session that will wipe away the problem. Your family to live happily ever after, after the first Doctor’s visit….. 
And
THEN!
Comes the Autism diagnosis!
Your whole world, your hopes, your dreams, your child’s study policy you took out the day he was born,
IT ALL COMES CRASHING DOWN!
At once.
YOU ARE LEFT WITH PAGES OF WRITING, FULL OF MEDICAL
terms and english words probably only a person with a doctorate in English literature would understand, explaining the diagnosis. The fancy words blurr, all you seem to see is YOUR CHILD has
AUTISM
All you feel is pain, all you are is emptied.
The uncomfortable thing about life is, is IT GOES ON! 
Life doesn’t stand still because you got a diagnosis, and now suddenly you are nothing but bones (and in my case a ton of fat) covered with skin. Autism doesn’t give you a grieving period and a time frame to build up a coping mechanism.
Life doesn’t stand still because you got a diagnosis, and now suddenly you are nothing but bones (and in my case a ton of fat) covered with skin. Autism doesn’t give you a grieving period and a time frame to build up a coping mechanism.NO!
Live goes on! And so does this Autism word!
And when Autism goes on, it goes on a rampage! Painting your life black with it’s symptoms.
The delay in speech gets to a point where your once semi – verbal child is now only able to communicate through growling sounds and noises.
The child you dreamed of becoming the next big superstar, is now behaving in the worst possible way ever.
Your once beautiful decorated house becomes empty and cold, autism smashing ornaments, breaking portraits,
pulling down curtains, – the world to see your inside, exept the world looks away…..
Your once enjoyable social life, drained, dry, you find yourself isolated, your closest, turning their backs, your child too much for them to cope with.
YOU END UP WITH ME, MYSELF AND AUTISM.
No way of sugar coating phases that breaks and destroys. You can read, you can hear, you can see a mom in public looking like trash, a once proud father, now walking with his head bowed, you can see a child growling on the floor kicking and screaming, you can see, hear and feel this seven letter word. But if you haven’t put on my flat, mama flip flops on, and endured what I have endured. That seven letter word only stays a WORD!
It is these phases, this last phase of Autism, that breaks. But once broken in such a way that your being is like the consistency of dust, it is then when a broken spirit turns into a fighting spirit. And we find a way to get up, and refuse the destructive force of a seven letter word threathening to destroy, threatening to let those affected by it turn back to dust!
This is where the human race stunnes me. Where I stand in awe of what a human, a special needs parent, is capable of! We endure the worst, we fall hard, yet some how we manage to get up, and we go against every thing that is in our way, and we fight for our children. For they aren’t a diagnosis! They ARE the world’s next this or that!
A diagnosis can either be a word that breaks, or it can be a word with the capability to show the world, and anything against us,
WHAT IS POSSIBLE!
Hats off to all my fellow autism/ special needs parent who is living a phase, but is also finding their figting spirit.
And to those lucky enough, to whom a word is only a word, and not an experience, every day is an opportunity to enrich a life of those experiencing the word against them. A simple friendly gesture, can change the world, and make the experience of a phase a bit less painful.
Written by: Marne Kleinhans .
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